Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
