Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
