what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
