its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
