i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would ride that face into the sunset
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
