Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Edward fifth and chaser hands
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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