So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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