Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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