I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
handjob tips. give me some.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
