guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize