Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
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AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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