So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
