So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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