I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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