Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
