i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so let's talk penis.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
