I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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