Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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