who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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