You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
