im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
