I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
