hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
