4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize