You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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