I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
