walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
