There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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