Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
