I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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