I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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