Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
