Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
