I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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