I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
