Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
only if we run a train.
done.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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