He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
