Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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