Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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