I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just found puke in my bra..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
