Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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