so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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