Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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