Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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