At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
