I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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