need another drink. this is the easiest way
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
