imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
