so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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