? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
