Duck Duck Cougar?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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