I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
