The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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