just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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