your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
be right there i have to get my cape
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
