we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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