gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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