you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just googled if crying burns calories
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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