I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
