sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
