? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
