help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
