Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
