do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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