that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Randomize
