One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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