You just made me feel so damn special
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am available for nakedness
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
