tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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