if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
