I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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